Toggle Background Video Playback Ask the Expert This Holiday Season, Try Shopping for Experiences (not Stuff) Stories You May Like Clueless About Watching Football? Pro Alum Will Help You Fake it What Is Mindfulness, and How Can It Help You? A Psychologist Explains ‘What’s Your Purpose in Life?’ Psychology Prof Explains Why that Question Makes All the Difference A psychology professor weighs in on why the happiness derived from possessions can quickly fade—and what you can give instead By Beth Saulnier Behavioral psychologist Tom Gilovich has studied myriad topics that offer intriguing insights into how humans think and act—including, as one now-famous study found, why athletes who win bronze medals are actually happier than those who get silver. For the past two decades, his work has included research on why experiences, compared to possessions, can have more positive psychological value. With the annual holiday buying frenzy underway, Cornellians chatted with Gilovich, the Irene Blecker Rosenfeld Professor of Psychology, about why the things we do can often make us happier than the things we have. As Gilovich points out, the concept has even been the focus of a Super Bowl ad: in February 2022, actor Ewan McGregor starred in a spot for Expedia in which he mused, “Will we regret the things we didn’t buy? Or the places we didn’t go?” (Jason Koski / Cornell University) In a nutshell, how might experiences be more valuable than material things? You remember your experiences more. It’s paradoxical: even though they come and go in a flash, they last longer in your mind. Why is that? We tend to adapt to the things around us; that’s the way the mind works. You may think, “It’s going to be great to get a new car”—and it is great. But after a while, you get used to it; you don’t even notice it anymore. Whereas you get reminders of your experiences all the time, which spark memories. Anything that calls attention to itself will interrupt adaptation. We tend to adapt to the things around us; that’s the way the mind works. Can you give an example? Imagine you went to grad school in Berkeley, CA, and you loved the view of the bay. So when you came to Ithaca, you bought a huge photograph of the bay and the Golden Gate Bridge, and it’s beautiful. You put it up and enjoy it for a while, but it never changes. So you start to lose sight of it. Now imagine you live in Berkeley, with the same view. One day the light is coming through the clouds, and it’s spectacular. Other days, it’s different. That’s the effect of an experience versus a possession. You’ve said that experiences connect to identity; could you elaborate? Your experiences are a part of you in a way that your material goods aren’t. OK, we’ve always tried to broadcast who we are by the stuff we put around us. But your leather jacket is separate from you. Experiences make you who you are in a way that material goods just can’t match—and they connect us with other people far more than material goods do. Gilovich in class. (Lindsay France / Cornell University) What about the role of anticipation? Is it somehow different for experiences? Stories You May Like Clueless About Watching Football? Pro Alum Will Help You Fake it What Is Mindfulness, and How Can It Help You? A Psychologist Explains Economists would typically predict that if something’s good, you want to have it sooner rather than later. For lots of things, that’s true. But for an experience, you want to savor it. One behavioral economist did a memorable study. He told people, “Imagine you won a contest where the prize is that you get to kiss your favorite movie star; when would you like to do that?” The economic prediction is “now.” But it turns out the average response is “about three days from now.” Does focusing on experiences sidestep the issue of “keeping up with the Joneses”? If someone else has a better version of what you have, it bothers you more for material goods rather than experiences. There was another study that nicely illustrates this. They asked survey respondents, “What world would you rather live in: one where you make—I forget the exact numbers—$100,000 and everybody else makes $50,000, or where you make $200,000 but everybody else makes $250,000?” And that’s hard, because half the people say one thing and half say the other. But if you make it experiential, the question becomes easy. They asked, “What world would you rather live in: one where you get two weeks of vacation and other people get one, or where you get four weeks and everybody else gets six?” And everyone says, “Give me the four weeks; I don’t care that other people get more.” If someone else has a better version of what you have, it bothers you more for material goods rather than experiences. How might people capitalize on the value of experiences during the holiday gifting season, and beyond? Our family are big believers in coupons—like, “Any day you name, we’re going to ride the Black Diamond Trail.” You basically make a date for an experience; those are presents that people really treasure. And of course, there are gift cards to arts organizations, restaurants, ski resorts, and that kind of stuff. Sweaters are nice, but they don’t provide the same value. Experiences expand the self—say, a gift like tennis lessons. That’s invaluable; you become a different person as you acquire a skill in a way that you don’t if you have nicer attire or a better racket. It sounds like you’re saying that the experience can be fairly low key—not necessarily something made for Instagram. Is that right? People often take this research and think, “I’ve got to dial back my material consumption and save up for lavish vacations—go to Bora Bora, or go above the Arctic Circle to see the Aurora Borealis.” If you can afford that, great; do those things. But it doesn’t have to be that elaborate. It can be modest experiences, like nature walks or reading good novels. Lastly, what’s your favorite experience you received as a gift? The one that looms largest was on my 40th birthday. My wife said, “We’re going on a trip—but I’m not going to tell you where.” We flew into Tampa; I am a fan of Disney World, but I’m not a fan of Florida, so I was wondering, “What is it? I think the Yankees have spring training here, but does she think I like baseball that much?” Then we drove to St. Petersburg and checked into a nice hotel, and she pulled out a book of Salvador Dalí’s art. I am a Dalí fan, and it turns out the second-biggest collection of his work is in St. Petersburg. It was a spectacular exhibit—and I’ll never forget the experience. Top: Illustration by Caitlin Cook / Cornell University. Published December 15, 2023 Comments Kate McPherron, Class of 1983 1 Dec, 2024 Thank you! I’ve been asking for more experiences and could not quite explain why; this will help me discuss, based on research, with a very “sweater-focused” family! Reply Leave a Comment Cancel replyOnce your comment is approved, your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment * Name * Class Year Email * Save my name, email, and class year in this browser for the next time I comment. Δ Other stories You may like Alumni Rocket Science Can Be a Roadmap for Life, Says this Astrophysics Alum Alumni Alum’s Documentary Profiles Famed Physician Anthony Fauci, MD ’66 Quizzes & Puzzles Celebrate the Season With Our ‘Big Red Spirit’ Trivia Quiz!