An illustration depicting a Valentine heart with musical instruments, on a blue background with the "Alma Mater" sheet music

Beautiful Music: Celebrating the Big Red Band’s (Many!) Love Matches

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By Beth Saulnier

In his recent book, Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection, psychologist Paul Eastwick ’01 describes the optimal way to form romantic attachments: by spending time with the same smallish group of reasonably like-minded people over the course of weeks, months, or years.

And OK, he doesn’t actually mention the Big Red Band as a canonical example—but when it comes to having love bloom, the group is the romantic equivalent of a dozen long-stemmed red roses and a heart-shaped box of chocolates.

A couple wearing Big Red Band t-shirts walking away holding a toddler's hands, at Homecoming
Noël Heaney / Cornell University
Nathaniel Olson ’05, MS ’08, and Brianna Bamford Olson ’07, MPA ’09, with daughter Eliza at Homecoming ’23.

“The band provides a great opportunity to come together, meet people, and relieve stress in what can be a pressure-filled environment,” observes Mary Sue Page Youn ’94, who married fellow bandie Joseph Youn ’91, MEng ’93. “I can’t think of another organization that brings together students from all colleges and majors in quite the same way.”

As active band alum (and clarinetist) Scott Pesner ’87 reckons it, there are more than 80 married or otherwise committed couples in which both are former band members, including his own brother and sister-in-law.

I can’t think of another organization that brings together students from all colleges and majors in quite the same way.

Mary Sue Page Youn ’94

It’s a notable record—especially when you consider that those 160-plus people were bonded not just through a shared love of musical performance, but via an organization that only has about 250 members at any given time.

(And for what it’s worth, Pesner adds, the two-bandie divorce rate is far below the national average.)

“I think there are so many band-member couples because you develop really great friendships with all the time spent together at rehearsals, games, and road trips,” observes Marci Braunstein Arnold ’89, who’s married to Mark Arnold ’88. “These occasions give you a chance to get to know a person really well. There are so many inside jokes and funny traditions that keep us connected.”

A cake topper dpiecting a couple in Big Red hockey shirts holding musical instruments
A cake topper from the wedding of Tory Bredt ’09 and Jordan Epstein ’08, BS ’07.

This year, Cornellians is devoting its annual Valentine’s Day feature to love in the Big Red Band—with profiles of more than a dozen couples who answered our call to share their amorous backstory.

While a few of the pairs coupled up after graduation—or even before matriculating on the Hill—many were struck by Cupid’s arrow during undergrad band parties, long bus rides to away games, hours of weekly practice, regular performances, or time spent in shared bandie housing off campus.

There are so many inside jokes and funny traditions that keep us connected.

Marci Braunstein Arnold ’89

“When you take so many positive, dedicated, amazing people with common interests,” Tom Baxter ’88, MS ’89, and Jill Schiffhauer Baxter ’91 wrote us, “and put them together in an energetic, happy environment where they perform together, travel together, and socialize together—you can do the math.”

Our single favorite meet-cute, among many: the gentleman who repeatedly stomped on the lady’s foot during a backward march, but nonetheless won her heart.

“Joining the band feels like instantly gaining 200 friends,” married couple David Kelly ’14, MEng ’15, and Kaiya Provost ’14 report. “It’s an incredibly welcoming environment that encourages you to be your full self. This makes it really easy to make connections and—apparently—find partners.”

David Fischell ’75, PhD ’80 (piccolo) & Sarah Thole Fischell ’78, MEng ’79 (bells and cymbals)

They started dating even before Cornell—having met when Sarah was an East Hill-bound high school senior (through David’s brother, fellow bandie Tim Fischell ’78, MD ’81). “By the time she came to the Hill in fall 1974, she was dating a senior with a car,” David recalls, “so I had a nice advantage.”

They dated all through college, their relationship cemented by band trips. “I knew she was the one, and decided to stay at Cornell for my PhD because of her,” David says. They wed in June 1977—former drum major Kip Said ’77 played the organ—and settled into married student housing in Hasbrouck.

David Fischell ’75, PhD ’80 & Sarah Thole Fischell ’78, MEng ’79 as students in their band uniforms

Both of their children would go on to play in the band (Erin Fischell ’10 on flute and Jennifer Fischell ’13 on tuba) and marry fellow Cornellians. And if the couple’s name is familiar to Big Red music fans: they were the primary sponsors of the band center, which is named in their honor.


Adam Mangano Drenkard ’11 (trumpet) & Lauren Mangano Drenkard ’11 (clarinet)

Adam Mangano Drenkard ’11 & Lauren Mangano Drenkard in caps and gowns in front of the Ezra statue

They recall precisely when they met: at 7 a.m. on the second day of classes freshman year, at the Appel Commons eatery on North Campus. They were introduced by Adam’s friend (and fellow trumpet player) Mark Vigeant ’11, who’d met Lauren the day before and invited her to breakfast.

Their first kiss: on a bench atop the Slope, after dinner at the Ivy Room following Pep Band rehearsal.

After a long-distance relationship between NYC and Boston, Adam proposed on Lauren’s birthday while hiking in Acadia National Park.

They married in Sage Chapel in 2016—the processional tune, “Pictures at an Exhibition,” was a Marching Band field song from their senior year—and held the reception at the Statler.


Mark Arnold ’88 (trombone) & Marci Braunstein Arnold ’89 (clarinet)

They met on Marci’s first day at Cornell: he was the orientation counselor who helped her roommate move in. “When Mark found out I was trying out for band, he offered to walk with me up to Barton Hall for band practice each day,” she recalls. “He lived on University Avenue and I lived in U-Hall 2, so he’d pass my dorm on the way.”

It wasn’t until the following semester—after a friend arranged for Mark to be her secret date for a sorority event—that things turned romantic. He proposed in the Botanic Gardens on a snowy day in February during her senior spring.

Mark Arnold ’88 & Marci Braunstein Arnold ’89

Julia Kelly ’16 (baritone horn) & Rohan Acharya ’16, MEng ’17 (trombone)

They played in the same section—a.k.a. the “bones”—and had the same major, biological engineering. They started dating in 2014, shortly after becoming section leaders.

Julia Kelly ’16 & Rohan Acharya ’16, MEng ’17 in their band uniforms

“One section member told us not to break up,” they note, “at least until the following year.”

They kept up a long-distance relationship while Julia, now an endocrinologist, attended med school. Since graduation, Rohan has never missed a Cornell Homecoming—and in 2025, they both attended along with their son, Simon, then six months old.


Arthur Pesner ’85 (clarinet) & Gail Fischman Pesner ’85 (clarinet)

Arthur Pesner ’85 & Gail Fischman Pesner ’85 in formal attire

While they were in the same graduating class and even played the same instrument, they never dated as students.

But they met up in NYC in fall 1988, when both attended the Cornell-Columbia football game and the Sy Katz ’31 Parade; after exchanging phone numbers, they started dating.

Arthur proposed on Libe Slope at sunset during Homecoming Weekend 1989; his brother, fellow bandie Scott Pesner '87, was the best man at their wedding. Their two sons include a Cornellian, Eric Pesner ’15.

“We attended our 40th Reunion this past June,” Arthur says, “and continue to go strong after 35 years of marriage.”


Brendan Duffy ’17 (trombone) & Hayley Sopko Duffy ’16, BS ’17 (baritone horn)

“The first time I met Hayley was during Orientation week, by Barton Hall,” Brendan recalls. “She jumped out and gave me a quarter-card about joining band. She doesn’t remember.”

They became friends—not only after he joined the band, but through shared classes in mechanical engineering and a PE course in ballroom dancing—before they started dating, and married in 2019.

They’re now based in Virginia, where they have two toddlers and both work in engineering.

Brendan Duffy ’17 & Hayley Sopko Duffy ’16, BS ’17, in band uniforms in Schoellkopf

Tory Bredt ’09 (tuba and sousaphone) & Jordan Epstein ’08, BS ’07 (trumpet)

After they met on a Pep Band hockey road trip to Harvard and Dartmouth, he invited her over to watch the Academy Awards; their first date was to see the Best Picture winner, The Departed, at Cornell Cinema.

Many band trips followed, including March Madness in Anaheim, CA; the first Red Hot Hockey game at MSG; the NCAA lacrosse finals in Baltimore; and the Sy Katz ’31 Parade in NYC.

Tory Bredt ’09 & Jordan Epstein ’08, BS ’07 in wedding attire

After they got hitched, the reception featured a cake topper depicting the couple wearing Big Red hockey jerseys and toting their instruments.

Based in NYC, they’re still avid participants in band performances at away games, including the May 2025 lacrosse national championship in Foxboro, MA.


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David Kelly ’14, MEng ’15 (bass drum) & Kaiya Provost ’14 (cymbals)

David Kelly ’14, MEng ’15 & Kaiya Provost ’14 in formal attire

Was it kismet? The couple not only shares the same birthday—but it’s February 14!

They met at band auditions their first day on campus, becoming friends and housemates before romance blossomed their junior year.

He proposed on the banks of Lake Michigan in February 2022—amid a beautiful sunset and a freezing wind.

They now live on Long Island, with Kaiya on the faculty at Adelphi and Dave working at Google as a software engineer.


Emily Isenstein ’16 (flute) & Louis Widom ’16 (trumpet)

They started dating their junior spring, and stayed geographically close after graduation—including both pursuing advanced degrees in the same city (Emily an MD at the University of Rochester, Louis a PhD at RIT).

They started cohabitating during the pandemic, eventually buying a house and adopting a dog (named Nellie, as in Cornell), who has been known to sport a Big Red coat.

Their wedding ceremony—at a winery on Seneca Lake—was immediately followed by a Marching Band performance.

Emily Isenstein ’16 & Louis Widom ’16 wearing band hats in wedding attire

Brian Adelman ’09 (tuba) & Shayna Gerson Adelman ’10 (trumpet)

Just a few months into their dating life, they got to visit Disneyland together while on a March Madness trip with the men’s basketball team.

Brian Adelman ’09 & Shayna Gerson Adelman ’10

They further bonded in having leadership positions in the band, with Brian as head manager and Shayna as drum major.

They now live in a Chicago suburb with their two daughters, Annabel and Sophie, and a senior dog named Zoe.


Joseph Youn ’91, MEng ’93 (tuba) & Mary Sue Page Youn ’94 (mellophone)

Joseph Youn ’91, MEng ’93 & Mary Sue Page Youn ’94 holding their instruments

During a road trip to perform at halftime at Giants Stadium, they chatted on the whole bus ride back to Ithaca.

“He asked me out after that,” says Mary Sue, “and the rest is history.”

The couple will celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary in May 2026.

Now living in suburban New Jersey—where they play with a community band and volunteer with the local high school marching band—they have two daughters and two dogs.

Their younger daughter, Sammy, followed in her dad’s footsteps by learning the tuba—which she now plays in the marching band at Syracuse University. “So now, we also cheer for the Orange,” says Mary Sue, “except when they play Cornell.”


Nathaniel Olson ’05, MS ’08 (trumpet) & Brianna Bamford Olson ’07, MPA ’09 (flute)

Her first impression of him was suboptimal.

Why? Due to their positions and the relative size of their strides, he’d regularly run her over during the backward-marching portion of “Firebird Suite.”

Says Brianna: “I still get a little grumpy every time I hear the song.”

But they overcame their differences and started dating the winter of her freshman year—staying together throughout undergrad and grad school and marrying in August 2007.

Nathaniel Olson ’05, MS ’08 & Brianna Bamford Olson ’07, MPA ’09 in Cornell sweaters holding instruments

“The band didn’t have a specific involvement in our wedding, other than being about 80% of the attendees,” she says, “a statistic that still holds true at nearly every event we host or attend in the Boston area.”

The couple has two “foster fail” rescue dogs and a four-year-old daughter, Eliza—who has set her sights on being a Big Red drum major.


Vincent Sheppard ’17, MEng ’17 (bass drum) & Victoria Dye ’16, MEng ’16 (bells)

They met in 2013 by virtue of being in the same section, the drumline.

“Vincent swept Victoria off her feet,” they recall, “literally, by picking her up and running around a practice gym during a band trip to Montréal.”

Vincent Sheppard ’17, MEng ’17 drum) & Victoria Dye ’16, MEng ’16 at Disneyland

They started dating the day after Valentine’s Day 2016, after a bonding episode involving the making of homemade gnocchi in the off-campus band house where they both lived.

“It was messy, tedious, and time-consuming, but at least it tasted good, and was a great kickstarter to their relationship,” they report, adding: “No gnocchi has been made since.”


Chris John ’08 (trumpet and percussion) & Sara Paddock John ’07 (alto sax)

Chris John ’08 & Sara Paddock John ’07 skating at Lynah as students

They first spoke at a soccer game, where they were playing with the Pep Band: it had been raining that day, and she offered him a towel to dry off his seat.

“We hit it off, and soon went on our first date at Eat Dessert First in Collegetown,” they report. “A couple of weeks later, while standing outside of Sage Chapel after a Marching Band rehearsal, Chris asked Sara to be his girlfriend.”

Eight years later, their wedding was held at—you guessed it—Sage, with cocktail music during the reception provided by the band’s trumpet and saxophone sections.

Now living in a Boston suburb, they’re expecting their first baby in April.


Nick Janiga ’00 (baritone horn) & Kim Salsbury ’02 (flute and baritone horn)

They lived on different floors of a house on Highland Avenue full of band members; he’d leave flowers and poems outside her door. Since Kim’s brother, Joe Salsbury ’99, MBA ’05, was friends with Nick, she sought his seal of approval for her suitor before agreeing to a first date.

Nick Janiga ’00 & Kim Salsbury ’02 as students wearing band uniforms

They married in Connecticut on an October weekend that happened to coincide with Homecoming 2006.

“The Marching Band alumni association reported lower than average Homecoming attendance that year,” they say, “partially due to the more than 20 Big Red Band alumni attending our wedding.”


Tom Baxter ’88, MS ’89 (trumpet) & Jill Schiffhauer Baxter ’91 (flute and piccolo)

“We are an unusual BRB love story in that we were never actually in the Marching Band at the same time,” they report.

“Mutual band friends and the abundance of social activities attended by bandies brought us together.”

After being introduced at an Alpha Phi party, they hit a very ’80s roadblock.

“Tom tried calling Jill every night that next week, but never connected, as Jill was always at the library studying and didn’t have an answering machine.”

Tom Baxter ’88, MS ’89 & Jill Schiffhauer Baxter ‘91 at their wedding

They eventually had a first date at two now-departed Collegetown eateries: pizza at the Chariot, followed by live music at Oliver’s.

After Tom graduated and settled in Boston, he made the six-hour drive to Ithaca every other weekend for nearly three years; he proposed during Jill’s senior fall, and they married a few months after she graduated. One of their five children, Kristen Baxter '17, followed in their footsteps as a bandie, playing mellophone.


Gus Faucher ’88 (mellophone) & Amy Crawford-Faucher ’88 (clarinet)

Gus Faucher ’88 & Amy Crawford-Faucher ’88

She was a student at nearby Wells College who’d already applied to transfer to Cornell—“so I didn’t move for him!”—when they met at a party on her campus their sophomore spring.

They continued to date after she matriculated on the Hill, tying the knot in Ithaca in 1990.

They now live in Pittsburgh and have four grown kids, a grandson, and a great Dane.

Their favorite band memory: a Cornell-Princeton football game when it was so cold that their instruments froze.

“As we exited the field, the word got out that the men’s bathroom was large and warm,” they recall. “The entire band crowded in and we played there. The acoustics weren’t bad!”

Top: Illustration by Ashley Osburn / Cornell University. (All photos provided, unless otherwise indicated)

Published February 10, 2026


Comments

  1. Ellen Goode, Class of 1991

    Yay!!!

  2. Heidi Russell, Class of 1987

    Love the stories!! I loved my band family (Fall 1983-Spring 1988 – trumpet)!! So much fun and happy memories!! And following couples budding was sweet addition!! Go Big Red Bandies!!! Love you all!!!

  3. Randy Verhoef, Class of 1988

    Wonderful stories! No one who was at that brutally cold Princeton game will ever forget that. I still remember the guy who came into the men’s restroom and headed straight for the urinal before he looked up and realized the entire Cornell BRB was in the restroom. He quickly scurried out! TPKA!

    • Marshall Kohen, Class of 1990

      Great to see your post, Randy! The Princeton Bathroom Concert is one of my favorite BRB memories. Trivia (at least as I recall it): The only trumpet player whose valves worked during the halftime performance – Doug Onsi. Go Red!

  4. Joanne Wilson Wietgrefe, Class of 1954

    The same can be said about the a cappella choirs in the 1950s. I met and married Walt Wietgrefe; there were 2 other couples besides us at the time. A cappella had only 35 members. Our marriage lasted 67 years.

  5. Dian Nafis, Class of 1977

    My brother Doug Nafis ‘79 and sister in law Jan Reiser Nafis ‘79 both played in the Big Red Band. They have lived in the Chicago area for four decades, and both daughters are very musical. I sang in the Sage Chapel Choir for 6 years and dated Choir members—but met my husband John when we both sang with the Honolulu Symphony Chorus! Our daughter Danielle Reed ‘18 inherited her Aunt Jan’s clarinet but pursued other interests at Cornell.

  6. Karen Zelkind Buglass, Class of 1977

    What fun stories! While clearly not as numerous, I can think of two weddings between WVBR staff members. Maybe the Daily Sun has some examples, too. Perhaps a follow up with media marriages?

  7. Donald Lazzaro, Class of 1996

    Four of our ten BRB fantasy football league members are married to other former BRB members. In our league group chat, we recently came up with ~19 such couples we know from within +/- 5 years of our class years.

  8. Bill Russo, Class of 1971

    I was in the BRB 1967-1972 (trumpet, librarian). The band was guys only until 1969, so I was late getting started in the BRB love match game, but I won it! I have been married to JoDee Anderson ’75 (trombone) for 51 years and counting.

  9. Karen Jacowitz, Class of 1990

    I was at that frigid Princeton game and Mens Room concert too! My trumpet valves were frozen.

    And, my husband Matt Craig played tuba in the band for a year and showed up again for one game senior year when former bandies were invited to rejoin us for a day. So we fit this category too. 🙂

  10. Roberta Pesner Becker, Class of 1953

    Not only loved the stories but noticed two more family members-Scott Pesner who works at Cornell and Arthur Pesner who was a student. I am the family member who has the Family Tree. Please any and all Pesners, we are all related, contact me somehow!

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