{"id":45574,"date":"2024-12-17T10:27:32","date_gmt":"2024-12-17T15:27:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/?p=45574"},"modified":"2026-01-06T13:13:45","modified_gmt":"2026-01-06T18:13:45","slug":"rifkin-specialness-spirals","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/rifkin-specialness-spirals\/","title":{"rendered":"In the New Year, Avoid ‘Specialness Spirals’ (and Practice Self-Gifting)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The Johnson School’s Jacqueline Rifkin offers insights on why waiting too long to use a present may mean getting less joy from it<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By Beth Saulnier<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Does delayed gratification have a dark side? That was the subject of a <\/em>2024 essay<\/em><\/a> in the <\/em>Wall Street Journal penned by <\/em>Jacqueline Rifkin<\/em><\/a>, an assistant professor of marketing and management communications in the Johnson School.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With a new year on the horizon\u2014and many well-intentioned folks making resolutions for positive change\u2014we checked in with Rifkin, whose work includes research in behavioral economics and decision-making.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1) Your WSJ<\/em> piece observed that advice to be disciplined in our spending and consumption can backfire. How so?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

By no means do I think delayed gratification is a bad thing. It\u2019s a great virtue, and it\u2019s absolutely correlated with success in a lot of domains. Where my research comes into play is where delayed gratification becomes the sole mode of living, or the only strategy. <\/p>\n<\/div>

\"Prof.<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s where we promise ourselves that we\u2019re going to be these \u201cdiscipline machines\u201d\u2014never having a cheat day, never splurging\u2014and overly adhere to that discipline.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s a strong cultural narrative that we\u2019re totally without discipline. There\u2019s almost a fear\u2014like, \u201cIf I didn\u2019t stop myself, I\u2019d have cake for breakfast every day.\u201d Or, \u201cIf I didn\u2019t keep those guardrails in place, there would be nothing keeping me from skipping work and losing my job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In reality, we\u2019re much more controlled and disciplined than we think\u2014and a lot of us are too controlled. People looking back on their lives don\u2019t tend to say, \u201cI wish I\u2019d worked more.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2) One example of delayed gratification you discuss is how some people postpone cashing in gift cards\u2014a timely topic for many of us. What\u2019s up with that?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Some of my research is on what we\u2019ve called \u201cspecialness spirals\u201d\u2014putting off using something that, actually, isn\u2019t necessarily so special. Maybe it\u2019s a Target gift card or a new sweater. We think, \u201cI\u2019ll save it for something\u2014I don\u2019t know what, but when the occasion comes, I\u2019ll know.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

There\u2019s a strong cultural narrative that we\u2019re totally without discipline. There\u2019s almost a fear\u2014like, ‘If I didn\u2019t stop myself, I\u2019d have cake for breakfast every day.’<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But it\u2019s really hard to know. And every time you delay\u2014every time you say \u201cnot now, maybe later\u201d\u2014it amps up the specialness of the thing, and it becomes harder and harder to use.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3) So what can we do about it?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I advise one of two strategies. One, try to use the thing as quickly as you can\u2014which sounds obvious, but is really hard if you\u2019re addicted to these specialness spirals, especially if the occasion doesn\u2019t feel appropriate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The other is to assign an occasion or a \u201cuse case\u201d to it, to take the ambiguity away. Like, \u201cI\u2019ll wear this new blouse to that conference next month.\u201d Then, when the time comes, it makes you rip the off Band-Aid, so to speak\u2014and ideally, you have a more positive experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4) Besides gift cards and clothing, what things are especially apt to spark \u201cspecialness spirals\u201d?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Wine and foods that are out of the ordinary; candles, stationery, journals; kitchen gadgets, like a panini press. People even sometimes do it with TV episodes; they keep saying, \u201cI\u2019ll watch that tomorrow night.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5) Can you give an instructive example of when you\u2019ve resisted the spiral?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I had a friend bring me back a bottle of wine and some pasta from Italy. This was already starting out pretty darn special, but I didn\u2019t want to fall into the trap that I research.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I made it for dinner on a Wednesday night\u2014and it felt so wrong<\/em> while I was doing it. I was like, \u201cWhat a waste of a beautiful meal; I should have saved it for something\u2014what, I don\u2019t know.\u201d And that\u2019s part of the psychology.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

We think, ‘I\u2019ll save it for something\u2014I don\u2019t know what, but when the occasion comes, I\u2019ll know.’ But it\u2019s really hard to know.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But I made memories with a friend who came over, and it ended up being a really beautiful night. And that\u2019s where I make the case that even if it doesn\u2019t feel like the exact right occasion, it\u2019s still adding to the sum of your happy experiences and contributing to your wellbeing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6) You\u2019ve also done research on \u201cself-gifting.\u201d What\u2019s that?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s intentionally creating an experience that\u2019s just for you and your happiness. A lot of people hear that and think, \u201cWhat, you\u2019re going to buy yourself shoes you can\u2019t afford?\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t have the PTO to jet off to the Caribbean and treat myself for six days.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But self-gifting doesn\u2019t have to be those things. It can be taking your dog for a walk, lighting a nice-smelling candle, doing a puzzle, reading a book. It can be these small, low-cost things in money and time\u2014as long as the intention is there that you\u2019re doing it for yourself and your wellness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

Self-gifting can be small, low-cost things in money and time\u2014as long as the intention is there that you\u2019re doing it for yourself.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

In our studies, one of the self-gifting tasks we give people is eating a biscotti. We say, \u201cHave as much or as little as you like; take as much or as little time as you need to eat it. Just know that this is a moment for you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People take, I think, 90 seconds to eat a biscotti. It\u2019s really about having that intention: \u201cThis is something I\u2019m doing just for me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Photo provided.)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Published December 17, 2024<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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