{"id":23277,"date":"2023-07-07T13:58:31","date_gmt":"2023-07-07T17:58:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/?p=23277"},"modified":"2023-07-07T13:58:32","modified_gmt":"2023-07-07T17:58:32","slug":"conflict-resolution","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/conflict-resolution\/","title":{"rendered":"Conflict Resolution Tips from a Veteran Divorce Lawyer"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Human Ecology alum Gabrielle Hartley \u201992 is the author of The Secret to Getting Along (And Why It\u2019s Easier Than You Think)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

By Beth Saulnier<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gabrielle Hartley \u201992 is a veteran <\/em>divorce lawyer and mediator<\/em><\/a> who specializes in keeping cases out of court\u2014aiming to help estranged spouses come to an agreement that facilitates a happier future. Hartley\u2019s experiences inspired her to co-author the 2019 self-help book<\/em> Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

The guide featured a blurb from actor and entrepreneur Gwyneth Paltrow, whose first marriage famously ended in a \u201cconscious uncoupling\u201d from musician Chris Martin.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And in May 2023, the Human Ecology alum published a followup: <\/em>The Secret to Getting Along (And Why It\u2019s Easier Than You Think): 3 Steps to Life-Changing Conflict Resolution<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cornellians tapped Hartley, who practices in New York and Massachusetts and does online mediation, for some insights into how to cope with conflicts\u2014including when to avoid them.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n<\/div>

\"Gabrielle<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

These days, how much do we need tools for conflict resolution?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Turn the television on; scroll through your social media feed. There are areas in which it\u2019s badly needed in the world\u2014but it\u2019s also needed in smaller ways, in our households and extended families. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are living in an age of immediate gratification. We want to be right, or we want to move on. And it\u2019s very destructive for our human experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How so?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In our society, there\u2019s an unprecedented amount of finger-pointing and polarization of opinions; it can almost feel impossible to communicate in a way that\u2019s not going to upset somebody in some way. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But at our core, we\u2019re all people who want to enjoy our lives, and we\u2019re more similar than dissimilar. The problem isn\u2019t so much in what<\/em> we\u2019re fighting about\u2014it\u2019s in how<\/em> we fight, and how that feels.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nowadays, it\u2019s easy to unfriend someone on Facebook or block their calls. Why must we do the hard work of resolving conflicts?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Connection is so important. For optimal health and wellness over the course of our lives, humans need relationships. And we\u2019re complicated beings; we disagree. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But there is nearly always a way forward\u2014not a perfect way, but a better way\u2014by understanding the emotional story and by taking control of your part in a disagreement. Think of alternate ways to have your needs met, and you can resolve practically anything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You mentioned that how we argue is a big problem. What\u2019s the top thing to avoid?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t react in the moment; take a step back and give yourself time. In the moment, you can feel your heart rate elevating and your focus waning. When that happens, you\u2019re not thinking clearly. Arguments escalate, and they snowball.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

There is nearly always a way forward\u2014not a perfect way, but a better way.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s so easy to fly off the handle; how does one avoid it?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I recommend around five rounds of deep breathing; with your eyes closed, breathe through your nose for five counts, pause for five, and breathe out slowly through your mouth for five. It takes under a minute and a half. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

After that, check in with yourself. How am I feeling? Maybe you need more time to think. Often, we just react\u2014but you\u2019ll have the best outcome when you pause and take time to process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What has working in the divorce field taught you about resolving conflicts?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our emotions cause us to act in ways that are so destructive\u2014but once we understand one another\u2019s motivations, we can nearly always find a resolution. I love helping people resolve what they and their lawyers characterize as \u201cimpossible\u201d cases. Just listening to what\u2019s going on for the other person creates space for so many possibilities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Can you give an example?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This one is very common: you\u2019re getting divorced, and both people want the house. So they think they need to go to court\u2014but I\u2019ll say, \u201cnot so fast.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

One person may really want it because they\u2019re worried they won\u2019t be able to get a new mortgage, or their mom lives down the street.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"The<\/figure>
\n

The other person may want the house\u2014but what they really want is confidence that their kids will visit them, even if they live somewhere else. It\u2019s not about the house at all. They just want stability.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In this case, it may make sense to begin a clear parenting plan to give them confidence they\u2019ll still see the kids if they move out of the home. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the other person\u2019s needs are met, their anxiety will diminish\u2014and you\u2019re much more likely to get what you want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s take a classic, low-stakes conflict. What do you do when you can\u2019t agree on how to load the dishwasher?<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

First, ask yourself: how important is this to me? It might be really important to one of you and not the other. Maybe order is more important to them, so you can offer a solution: \u201cWould you like to be in charge of the dishwasher, and I\u2019ll take on another household task?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s really about making space so the heat comes down. In my house, I didn\u2019t care about loading the dishwasher\u2014but it mattered to my husband, so I gave him that job. For me, how the pillows go on the bed matters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s the adage \u201cIt\u2019s better to be happy than right.\u201d How do you interpret that?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It means \u201cthink about why you want what you want, and give in wherever you can.\u201d The expression \u201cchoose your battles\u201d is also true. Some things are worth throwing down for, but most aren\u2019t. In our intimate relationships, we get into behavioral patterns where we\u2019re stuck in this right\/wrong paradigm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In your new book, you note that a fair amount of conflict is caused by acquiescence. Could you explain that?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You might be a people pleaser, and you\u2019re so uncomfortable saying \u201cno\u201d that you say nothing\u2014and nothing is perceived as a \u201cyes.\u201d That can really escalate; silence is the death knell of resolution. So rather than being quiet, say \u201cI\u2019m not sure how I feel about this; give me time and we\u2019ll circle back.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

The expression \u2018choose your battles\u2019 is true. Some things are worth throwing down for, but most aren\u2019t.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Is part of the lesson that to prevent a bigger conflict, you might need to have some<\/em> conflict?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, you have to be willing to stomach disagreement. But in tolerating that small disagreement, you\u2019re sheltering yourself from a much worse problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019ve seen Twitter wars or been \u201cflamed\u201d over email. How have social media and the Internet impacted how people deal with conflicts?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Electronic communication can make conflict harder, because it\u2019s so easy to react. If you\u2019re in a heated conversation, take that pause and then circle back. Don\u2019t just shoot off an email; sleep on it. At 3 a.m., things can seem really important\u2014but at 7, you may realize it was a stupid thing to obsess about.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n\t

Stories You May Like<\/h2>\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\"Popular\t\t\t\t\t<\/figure>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\tPopular Course Offers Life Lessons from Faculty Dream Team\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/h3>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\"Tips\t\t\t\t\t<\/figure>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\tTips on ‘Body Positivity’ from an Expert in Adolescent Nutrition\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/h3>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s politically divisive world, many of us have relatives or old friends with whom we vehemently disagree. What\u2019s the best way to deal with that?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have this situation in my life. I say to this particular uncle, \u201cYou have two more minutes to talk about politics, then I want to hear about what you had for dinner last night.\u201d I don\u2019t cut him off, but I also don\u2019t engage. If it\u2019s really bothering you, you can say, \u201cLet\u2019s not talk about politics; it\u2019s not going to take our relationship anywhere positive.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

If someone isn\u2019t super hot-headed, you can take turns talking for five minutes and really listening to each other. That can pave the way to greater understanding, even if you have completely different perspectives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019ve talked about relationship-based<\/strong><\/strong> conflicts. But what about isolated instances, like if someone cuts you off in traffic or in line at the grocery store?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It helps to assume best intentions and give the benefit of the doubt. If someone almost hits your car on the road, it can make you upset, even rageful. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But you could tell yourself a story that the driver is rushing to a family emergency\u2014something that supports a more positive reason why the person is acting that way.<\/p>\n<\/div>

\"The<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

The person who cuts in front of you at the grocery store? You could decide they\u2019re on a very tight timeline before they have to pick up their kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it seems like you\u2019re saying that we should engage in conflict when it\u2019s healthy and productive\u2014and avoid it when it\u2019s not?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The reason to embrace conflict is that it can bring you better outcomes. That doesn\u2019t mean embracing destructive arguments\u2014it means leaning into productive conversations about areas where we disagree. That\u2019s the whole point: we can learn from each other and grow, and our relationships can get deeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Top: Illustration by Seung Yeon Kim \/ Cornell University. All images provided.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Published July 7, 2023<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Human Ecology alum Gabrielle Hartley \u201992 is the author of The Secret to Getting Along (And Why It\u2019s Easier Than You Think)<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":68,"featured_media":23558,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"alumni_hub_syml_posts":[7290,20158,7854],"footnotes":""},"categories":[225],"tags":[],"cornell_year_post":[],"post_folder":[],"class_list":["post-23277","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ask-the-expert"],"yoast_head":"\nConflict Resolution Tips from a Veteran Divorce Lawyer - Cornellians | Cornell University<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Human Ecology alum Gabrielle Hartley \u201992 is the author of The Secret to Getting Along (And Why It\u2019s Easier Than You Think)\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/conflict-resolution\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Conflict Resolution Tips from a Veteran Divorce Lawyer - Cornellians | Cornell University\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Human Ecology alum Gabrielle Hartley \u201992 is the author of The Secret to Getting Along (And Why It\u2019s Easier Than You Think)\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/conflict-resolution\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Cornellians | Cornell University\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Cornellians\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-07-07T17:58:31+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-07-07T17:58:32+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2023\/07\/Conflict-Resoultion-Tips.gif\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1024\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"576\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/gif\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Beth Saulnier\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@WeCornellians\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@WeCornellians\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Beth Saulnier\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"8 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/conflict-resolution\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/conflict-resolution\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Beth Saulnier\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/32fea64e8c64bb984ed5809675634100\"},\"headline\":\"Conflict Resolution Tips from a Veteran Divorce Lawyer\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-07-07T17:58:31+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-07-07T17:58:32+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/conflict-resolution\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":1544,\"commentCount\":2,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/conflict-resolution\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/sites\\\/2\\\/2023\\\/07\\\/Conflict-Resoultion-Tips.gif\",\"articleSection\":[\"Ask the Expert\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/conflict-resolution\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/conflict-resolution\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/conflict-resolution\\\/\",\"name\":\"Conflict Resolution Tips from a Veteran Divorce Lawyer - Cornellians | Cornell University\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/conflict-resolution\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/conflict-resolution\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/sites\\\/2\\\/2023\\\/07\\\/Conflict-Resoultion-Tips.gif\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-07-07T17:58:31+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-07-07T17:58:32+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/32fea64e8c64bb984ed5809675634100\"},\"description\":\"Human Ecology alum Gabrielle Hartley \u201992 is the author of The Secret to Getting Along (And Why It\u2019s Easier Than You Think)\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/conflict-resolution\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/conflict-resolution\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/conflict-resolution\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/sites\\\/2\\\/2023\\\/07\\\/Conflict-Resoultion-Tips.gif\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/sites\\\/2\\\/2023\\\/07\\\/Conflict-Resoultion-Tips.gif\",\"width\":1920,\"height\":1080,\"caption\":\"A GIF of hands doing thumbs up and thumbs down on a light green background\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/conflict-resolution\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Conflict Resolution Tips from a Veteran Divorce Lawyer\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/\",\"name\":\"Cornellians | Cornell University\",\"description\":\"Cornell's alumni publication\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/32fea64e8c64bb984ed5809675634100\",\"name\":\"Beth Saulnier\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/321760a8edb5153d2c562bbadd61cc5ebb987bda75fb59074266c35cc35beae1?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/321760a8edb5153d2c562bbadd61cc5ebb987bda75fb59074266c35cc35beae1?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/321760a8edb5153d2c562bbadd61cc5ebb987bda75fb59074266c35cc35beae1?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Beth Saulnier\"},\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/alumni.cornell.edu\\\/cornellians\\\/author\\\/ess8\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Conflict Resolution Tips from a Veteran Divorce Lawyer - Cornellians | Cornell University","description":"Human Ecology alum Gabrielle Hartley \u201992 is the author of The Secret to Getting Along (And Why It\u2019s Easier Than You Think)","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/conflict-resolution\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Conflict Resolution Tips from a Veteran Divorce Lawyer - Cornellians | Cornell University","og_description":"Human Ecology alum Gabrielle Hartley \u201992 is the author of The Secret to Getting Along (And Why It\u2019s Easier Than You Think)","og_url":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/conflict-resolution\/","og_site_name":"Cornellians | Cornell University","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Cornellians","article_published_time":"2023-07-07T17:58:31+00:00","article_modified_time":"2023-07-07T17:58:32+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2023\/07\/Conflict-Resoultion-Tips.gif","width":1024,"height":576,"type":"image\/gif"}],"author":"Beth Saulnier","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@WeCornellians","twitter_site":"@WeCornellians","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Beth Saulnier","Est. reading time":"8 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/conflict-resolution\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/conflict-resolution\/"},"author":{"name":"Beth Saulnier","@id":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/#\/schema\/person\/32fea64e8c64bb984ed5809675634100"},"headline":"Conflict Resolution Tips from a Veteran Divorce Lawyer","datePublished":"2023-07-07T17:58:31+00:00","dateModified":"2023-07-07T17:58:32+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/conflict-resolution\/"},"wordCount":1544,"commentCount":2,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/conflict-resolution\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2023\/07\/Conflict-Resoultion-Tips.gif","articleSection":["Ask the Expert"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/conflict-resolution\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/conflict-resolution\/","url":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/conflict-resolution\/","name":"Conflict Resolution Tips from a Veteran Divorce Lawyer - Cornellians | Cornell University","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/conflict-resolution\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/conflict-resolution\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2023\/07\/Conflict-Resoultion-Tips.gif","datePublished":"2023-07-07T17:58:31+00:00","dateModified":"2023-07-07T17:58:32+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/#\/schema\/person\/32fea64e8c64bb984ed5809675634100"},"description":"Human Ecology alum Gabrielle Hartley \u201992 is the author of The Secret to Getting Along (And Why It\u2019s Easier Than You Think)","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/conflict-resolution\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/conflict-resolution\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/conflict-resolution\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2023\/07\/Conflict-Resoultion-Tips.gif","contentUrl":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2023\/07\/Conflict-Resoultion-Tips.gif","width":1920,"height":1080,"caption":"A GIF of hands doing thumbs up and thumbs down on a light green background"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/conflict-resolution\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Conflict Resolution Tips from a Veteran Divorce Lawyer"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/#website","url":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/","name":"Cornellians | Cornell University","description":"Cornell's alumni publication","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/#\/schema\/person\/32fea64e8c64bb984ed5809675634100","name":"Beth Saulnier","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/321760a8edb5153d2c562bbadd61cc5ebb987bda75fb59074266c35cc35beae1?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/321760a8edb5153d2c562bbadd61cc5ebb987bda75fb59074266c35cc35beae1?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/321760a8edb5153d2c562bbadd61cc5ebb987bda75fb59074266c35cc35beae1?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Beth Saulnier"},"url":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/author\/ess8\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23277","targetHints":{"allow":["GET","POST","PUT","PATCH","DELETE"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/68"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23277"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23277\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23623,"href":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23277\/revisions\/23623"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/23558"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23277"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23277"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23277"},{"taxonomy":"cornell_year_post","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cornell_year_post?post=23277"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=23277"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}