{"id":10566,"date":"2022-09-27T06:02:00","date_gmt":"2022-09-27T10:02:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/?p=10566"},"modified":"2023-12-12T13:29:44","modified_gmt":"2023-12-12T18:29:44","slug":"gracious-living","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alumni.cornell.edu\/cornellians\/gracious-living\/","title":{"rendered":"Recalling the \u201950s on the Hill, an Era of \u2018Gracious Living\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Having grown up in a small Upstate New York town, attending Cornell broadened my horizons<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By Joanne Wilson Wietgrefe \u201954<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

I graduated from a small Western New York high school in June 1950, and moved into Dickson Hall that September. Our first meal in the dining room was lunch\u2014and it was there that I knew I wasn\u2019t in rural country anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tables of eight women, all looking at their placemats\u2014adorned with two forks, two knives, two teaspoons, and a soupspoon, along with the proper accompanying china pieces. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Women who were working for their board were the waitresses who took our orders and served us.<\/p>\n<\/div>

\"A<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There were no written menus; everything was done by announcing the food and beverages. To order, the first woman gave her selection to the person on her right, then that woman repeated that order, and added her choices for the next person on her right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And so on, around the table, until the eighth woman\u2014whose memory must have been gigantically infallible\u2014gave the string of orders to the waitress, who then remembered everything and related it to the kitchen. There were no order pads.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This system was used for appetizers, entrees, and desserts. So a typical table order for dessert might be: two apple pies, one ice cream, two eclairs, three chocolate cakes, three coffees, four teas, and one milk. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Joanne
Wietgrefe in the 1954 yearbook. (Provided)<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>
\n

If there were mistakes in relating what each woman wanted, it was immediately corrected by the person whose choice was stated incorrectly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was proper dining room decorum. You must fill in the head table first, this being where the Head Resident ate. She liked to make polite conversation while properly using her soupspoon, etc. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you were sandwiching a gracious lunch between morning classes and an afternoon lab, this was the table to avoid at all costs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dressing for dinner was mandatory on the weekends; that meant stockings and heels. <\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We always sang the \u201cEvening Song\u201d on Saturday and the \u201cAlma Mater\u201d on Sunday. Sometimes when women attempted to bend the rules, two traitors were stationed at the doors to check for proper leg and foot attire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Coming to Cornell expanded my world. I met a student who brought her horse to college with her so she could ride on weekends. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We attended teas to meet visiting dignitaries and had special events for certain holidays. I learned what matzo was\u2014and that most experienced people ate it with butter and salt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

Coming to Cornell expanded my world.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

In my first foods lab, each student had to inventory her work station to ascertain that everything was complete. The girl across from me needed help: what exactly was a spatula, egg beater, grater, etc.? She had never been in her own kitchen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was shocked one February when a tearful girl announced her life was over. It was sorority rush week, and she didn\u2019t get bids back to her anticipated choices\u2014thus, she explained, her quest for the right kind of husband was made more difficult.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(The fact that someone would come to college to find a husband was not in my realm of possibility. After all, I had turned down a scholarship to another university because women weren\u2019t allowed to take courses with men\u2014and I couldn\u2019t major in chemistry, because women could only earn BA degrees.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"A
Wietgrefe (second woman from left in second row) with fellow members of the A Cappella Chorus. (Provided)<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n

For two years, my roommate and I lived in Balch on the courtyard, where we were treated to serenades: when a coed got pinned to a fraternity man\u2014the step before engagement\u2014the whole fraternity would come and serenade the intended future wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This era of gracious living extended to laundering our clothes, too. Just hang your laundry, with name tags sewn in, in a bag on your doorknob before bedtime, with the required laundry list; it would be magically returned three days later, clean and ironed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(We washed our own unmentionables; we weren\u2019t totally helpless.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Throughout my years at Cornell, I felt privileged to be a student there. The University was my window into a wider world, and it gave me an ensuing obligation to share what talents I had with others. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the saying goes: \u201cShe to whom much has been given, much is expected.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Joanne Wilson Wietgrefe \u201954<\/strong> majored in home economics in Human Ecology. Her late husband, Walter Wietgrefe \u201954, MS \u201963, was a Cornellian, as are children Stephen Wietgrefe \u201976 and Holly Wietgrefe \u201983, MS \u201986. She was an elementary school teacher for 25 years, among other professional and volunteer activities.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Top image: Illustration by Cornell University<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Published September 27, 2022<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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